Freeman's Mind： Episode 15-choM0W2tc78.en.vtt

#100:00:02.502→00:00:06.601

[Subtitles by danielsangeo]

#200:00:07.422→00:00:10.013

[Geiger counter clicks] Eh, I'm being squeamish about this.

#300:00:10.013→00:00:11.257

[Geiger counter clicks] I have my suit on.

#400:00:11.257→00:00:12.284

[Geiger counter clicks] It'll protect me.

#500:00:12.284→00:00:13.845

[Geiger counter clicks] I'm just missing the helmet.

#600:00:13.845→00:00:15.349

[Geiger counter clicks] So, worst case scenario,

#700:00:15.349→00:00:17.435

[Geiger counter clicks] we're only talking brain cancer.

#800:00:17.435→00:00:18.752

[Geiger counter clicks] I can live with that.

#900:00:18.752→00:00:20.613

[Geiger counter clicks] Actually, that's kind of the point,

#1000:00:20.613→00:00:23.174

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits] I CAN live with--

#1100:00:23.174→00:00:25.639

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits] God damn! Get a handkerchief!

#1200:00:25.639→00:00:28.747

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid spits]

#1300:00:28.747→00:00:29.915

[Geiger counter clicks, bullsquid moans] Snot monster!

#1400:00:29.915→00:00:31.026

[Geiger counter clicks] That's your new name.

#1500:00:31.026→00:00:31.902

[Geiger counter clicks]

#1600:00:31.902→00:00:34.087

[Geiger counter clicks] But, yeah, unlike my colleagues,

#1700:00:34.087→00:00:36.719

[Geiger counter clicks] I seem to have a tendency to stay alive.

#1800:00:36.719→00:00:38.687

[Geiger counter clicks] Since this morning, I've been bitten,

#1900:00:38.687→00:00:39.707

[Geiger counter clicks] shot,

#2000:00:39.707→00:00:40.494

[Geiger counter clicks] bombed,

#2100:00:40.494→00:00:41.806

[Geiger counter clicks] electrocuted,

#2200:00:41.806→00:00:43.172

[Geiger counter clicks] almost drowned,

#2300:00:43.172→00:00:44.918

[Geiger counter clicks] almost fallen to my death,

#2400:00:44.918→00:00:46.001

[Geiger counter clicks] and strangled.

#2500:00:46.001→00:00:48.203

[Geiger counter clicks] Rasputin wasn't so lucky.

#2600:00:48.203→00:00:51.454

[Geiger counter clicks] But here I am, exposing myself to radiation.

#2700:00:51.454→00:00:52.256

[Geiger counter clicks] Why not?

#2800:00:52.256→00:00:53.581

[Geiger counter clicks] Let's add to the list.

#2900:00:53.581→00:00:56.106

[Geiger counter clicks] Maybe I can get burned, stabbed, and poisoned

#3000:00:56.106→00:00:57.822

[Geiger counter clicks] before the day's done.

#3100:00:57.822→00:00:59.451

[Geiger counter clicks] This is another dead end.

#3200:00:59.451→00:01:00.918

[Geiger counter clicks] Or maybe it's just flooded

#3300:01:00.918→00:01:02.963

[Geiger counter clicks] by radioactive green crap.

#3400:01:02.963→00:01:05.274

[Geiger counter clicks] Oh man, I wonder this is that same spill

#3500:01:05.274→00:01:06.427

[Geiger counter clicks] from this morning.

#3600:01:06.427→00:01:09.306

[Geiger counter clicks] That could be seeping everywhere!

#3700:01:09.306→00:01:11.734

I'm not going to drink from the water fountains anymore.

#3800:01:13.094→00:01:14.400

Oh, hey, this is smart.

#3900:01:15.047→00:01:16.467

This is a great idea!

#4000:01:17.257→00:01:19.406

Yeah, let's crawl into this drainage pipe!

#4100:01:19.406→00:01:22.026

How could this NOT be the right way?

#4200:01:22.026→00:01:25.146

Actually, I always wished I could just hop in a giant pneumatic tube

#4300:01:25.146→00:01:26.968

that would take me from my home to work,

#4400:01:27.283→00:01:28.601

or to the liquor store,

#4500:01:29.088→00:01:30.016

the pharmacy,

#4600:01:30.564→00:01:32.200

chemical supply warehouse...

#4700:01:32.729→00:01:34.513

it would be really efficient.

#4800:01:34.513→00:01:35.595

I am a gopher!

#4900:01:35.595→00:01:37.457

[bullsquid spits] Oh, no, dammit!

#5000:01:37.457→00:01:39.107

Snot rag...

#5100:01:39.107→00:01:40.901

NONE OF YOU ARE HOUSEBROKEN!

#5200:01:41.739→00:01:42.447

[bullsquid groans]

#5300:01:42.447→00:01:45.100

I wonder if this is what being a dog catcher is like.

#5400:01:45.100→00:01:47.803

Actually, I don't think they get shotguns.

#5500:01:47.803→00:01:50.090

You probably have to provide your own.

#5600:01:50.090→00:01:51.968

[bullsquid spits] God... more?!

#5700:01:53.409→00:01:54.000

[bullsquid spits] Eugh!

#5800:01:54.611→00:01:57.093

[bullsquid moans]

#5900:01:57.093→00:01:59.381

This is a pet-trainer's nightmare.

#6000:01:59.381→00:02:03.551

You try and get it to behave and all it does is puke snot on you and moan.

#6100:02:03.551→00:02:04.868

This looks promising.

#6200:02:06.392→00:02:09.014

I'd like to see a dog catcher handle this.

#6300:02:09.014→00:02:12.210

If an alien teleported outside, I could call them up and say,

#6400:02:12.210→00:02:14.932

"Yeah, I got a dog here. He's real mean."

#6500:02:14.932→00:02:16.124

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] Then the catcher would arrive

#6600:02:16.124→00:02:17.301

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] expecting a dog and get

#6700:02:17.301→00:02:19.209

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] one of these bastards instead.

#6800:02:19.209→00:02:21.264

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] And he can't just run away because--

#6900:02:21.264→00:02:21.669

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] Dammit.

#7000:02:21.669→00:02:26.274

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks]

#7100:02:26.274→00:02:28.260

[Geiger counter clicks] He can't just run away because technically

#7200:02:28.260→00:02:29.940

[Geiger counter clicks] his job is animal control,

#7300:02:29.940→00:02:31.439

[Geiger counter clicks] and this is an animal.

#7400:02:31.439→00:02:32.337

[Geiger counter clicks] It would be better if you could

#7500:02:32.337→00:02:34.288

[Geiger counter clicks] get some kids out on the street watching him

#7600:02:34.288→00:02:35.482

[Geiger counter clicks] so it guilts him into wrestling

#7700:02:35.482→00:02:36.452

[Geiger counter clicks] with the thing.

#7800:02:36.452→00:02:38.145

[Geiger counter clicks] Man, I'd videotape that.

#7900:02:38.145→00:02:38.983

[Geiger counter clicks]

#8000:02:38.983→00:02:41.770

[Geiger counter clicks] This is a lot of radioactive crap.

#8100:02:41.770→00:02:43.857

[Geiger counter clicks] I bet some people would pay money to get bit

#8200:02:43.857→00:02:45.574

[Geiger counter clicks] a radioactive alien.

#8300:02:45.574→00:02:46.631

[Geiger counter clicks] Not me!

#8400:02:46.631→00:02:47.939

[Geiger counter clicks] I know better!

#8500:02:47.939→00:02:48.467

[Geiger counter clicks] That always--

#8600:02:48.784→00:02:50.776

[Geiger counter clicks] pissed me off about Spider-Man,

#8700:02:50.776→00:02:51.491

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] how he got...

#8800:02:51.491→00:02:52.906

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks]

#8900:02:52.906→00:02:53.544

[bullsquids spit, Geiger counter clicks] NO!

#9000:02:53.544→00:02:54.098

[Geiger counter clicks] BAD THING!

#9100:02:54.098→00:02:55.402

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9200:02:55.402→00:02:56.058

[Geiger counter clicks] BAD!

#9300:02:56.058→00:02:57.740

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9400:02:57.740→00:02:59.374

[Geiger counter clicks] ...how Spider-Man got super powers

#9500:02:59.374→00:03:01.135

[Geiger counter clicks] by bitten by a radioactive...

#9600:03:01.135→00:03:01.587

[Geiger counter clicks]

#9700:03:01.587→00:03:02.662

[Geiger counter clicks] ...spider.

#9800:03:02.662→00:03:04.538

[Geiger counter clicks] That is such bullshit.

#9900:03:04.538→00:03:05.273

[Geiger counter clicks] For starters,

#10000:03:05.273→00:03:09.238

the odds of a random mutation being beneficial are astronomical.

#10100:03:09.238→00:03:11.890

But, more importantly, even if you did get one,

#10200:03:11.890→00:03:14.066

you'd still have radiation poisoning.

#10300:03:14.066→00:03:17.467

Comic book writers know about as much about science as I know about...

#10400:03:18.200→00:03:22.518

...well, I'm not a good example since I know almost everything, but...

#10500:03:22.518→00:03:24.685

the point is, they could try harder.

#10600:03:24.685→00:03:26.319

Hey, I'm up higher.

#10700:03:26.319→00:03:27.957

I wasn't even paying attention.

#10800:03:27.957→00:03:30.280

I wish I could just will myself out of here like--

#10900:03:30.280→00:03:31.011

[bullsquid grunts] Daah!

#11000:03:31.011→00:03:32.348

[bullsquid grunts]

#11100:03:32.348→00:03:34.534

I hate awkward pauses like this.

#11200:03:36.158→00:03:37.023

[bullsquid moans]

#11300:03:37.023→00:03:39.900

Of course, I'm the one who has to break the ice.

#11400:03:39.900→00:03:42.640

I have to do everything around here.

#11500:03:42.640→00:03:43.334

[houndeye squeals] Stop that!

#11600:03:44.026→00:03:45.458

Ah hah hah hah!

#11700:03:45.458→00:03:48.212

Today's lesson is on muzzle energy and momentum.

#11800:03:48.212→00:03:50.234

[houndeye charges up]

#11900:03:51.925→00:03:53.763

Wow, that was fun.

#12000:03:53.763→00:03:58.015

This might my second calling after physics--shooting stuff?

#12100:03:58.015→00:03:59.527

I don't want to join the military, though,

#12200:03:59.527→00:04:03.475

because there would always be someone giving me orders telling me what to shoot.

#12300:04:03.475→00:04:05.403

And they'd want me to lose my beard.

#12400:04:05.403→00:04:06.467

Fuck that.

#12500:04:06.467→00:04:08.430

I don't get what the big deal is with that.

#12600:04:08.430→00:04:11.891

Soldiers had beards in the Civil War, it worked for them.

#12700:04:11.891→00:04:13.044

[houndeye chirruping] Oh, I see you.

#12800:04:13.044→00:04:14.857

[explosion] WHOA!

#12900:04:14.857→00:04:16.821

COMBO PLATTER!

#13000:04:16.821→00:04:18.710

Hope I don't need to go that way.

#13100:04:18.710→00:04:21.296

I wasn't really expecting that to happen.

#13200:04:21.296→00:04:23.463

I DO need to go that way.

#13300:04:23.463→00:04:25.132

Hey! You're hiding!

#13400:04:25.132→00:04:25.534

[houndeye charging up]

#13500:04:26.517→00:04:29.520

I play hide-and-go-seek for keeps.

#13600:04:29.520→00:04:31.644

You should've picked a better spot.

#13700:04:31.644→00:04:33.868

No one hides from me.

#13800:04:34.352→00:04:37.422

[bullsquid spits] Wow, those snot freaks have good eyesight.

#13900:04:37.422→00:04:38.801

[bullsquid spits]

#14000:04:38.801→00:04:40.424

[bullsquid spits] God, I can barely see it.

#14100:04:40.424→00:04:45.121

[bullsquid spits]

#14200:04:45.121→00:04:45.979

[bullsquid spits] Come on!

#14300:04:45.979→00:04:47.361

[bullsquid spits]

#14400:04:47.361→00:04:49.054

[bullsquid spits] I need a scoped rifle.

#14500:04:49.054→00:04:50.716

[bullsquid moans]

#14600:04:50.716→00:04:52.594

See, I'm behind the curve on this stuff

#14700:04:52.594→00:04:54.945

because I've never tried to kill the president.

#14800:04:54.945→00:04:56.374

I've never wanted to.

#14900:04:56.374→00:05:00.030

Because I know as soon as I did, they'd just replace him with somebody else,

#15000:05:00.030→00:05:01.932

so it's like, what's the point?

#15100:05:01.932→00:05:05.357

Yep, this is the work of that same catwalk contractor.

#15200:05:05.357→00:05:06.979

Okay, I can jump this.

#15300:05:06.979→00:05:09.245

I'm flying on the wings of radiation.

#15400:05:10.524→00:05:12.089

Yeah.

#15500:05:12.089→00:05:14.391

I wasn't worried about not making the jump,

#15600:05:14.391→00:05:16.063

but I honestly thought the platform might

#15700:05:16.063→00:05:17.423

collapse from under me.

#15800:05:17.423→00:05:19.533

[lock buzzes] That's the kind of day this has been.

#15900:05:19.533→00:05:21.000

RRRRR!

#16000:05:22.864→00:05:23.567

NO!

#16100:05:24.949→00:05:27.100

GOD DAMMIT! THERE'S NOT EVEN A DOORKNOB!

#16200:05:29.340→00:05:30.687

[metal banging] Wait, what's that?

#16300:05:30.687→00:05:31.067

[metal banging] What?

#16400:05:32.422→00:05:34.958

I thought I heard somebody tapping out Morse Code.

#16500:05:34.958→00:05:37.635

Why do I care? I don't even know Morse Code.

#16600:05:37.635→00:05:38.300

Ngh.

#16700:05:39.089→00:05:39.701

It switched back...

#16800:05:40.764→00:05:41.651

Who are you?

#16900:05:41.651→00:05:42.200

YAH!

#17000:05:44.047→00:05:44.667

Yuck.

#17100:05:44.828→00:05:47.329

[metal banging]

#17200:05:47.329→00:05:48.991

[metal banging] God, what is that noise?

#17300:05:48.991→00:05:49.948

[metal banging] It sounds like the drummer

#17400:05:49.948→00:05:52.036

[metal banging] to some shitty garage band.

#17500:05:52.036→00:05:53.368

[moaning] Man, I'm getting old.

#17600:05:53.368→00:05:54.538

[moaning] This modern day music

#17700:05:54.538→00:05:56.381

[moaning] just sounds like noise to me.

#17800:05:56.381→00:05:57.337

[moaning] "Bang bang bang."

#17900:05:57.337→00:05:58.358

[moaning] It doesn't even have a beat.

#18000:05:58.358→00:06:00.930

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Fire the... rocket engine...

#18100:06:00.930→00:06:02.333

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Destroy the damned thing

#18200:06:02.333→00:06:03.977

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: before it grows any larger.

#18300:06:03.977→00:06:04.745

[metal banging]

#18400:06:04.745→00:06:05.390

[metal banging] SCIENTIST: Dah!

#18500:06:05.390→00:06:08.346

[metal banging] I know! This music sucks, right?

#18600:06:08.346→00:06:10.414

[metal banging] Don't worry, I'll go make them turn it off.

#18700:06:10.414→00:06:12.121

[moaning] It's ridiculous.

#18800:06:12.121→00:06:14.153

[moaning]

#18900:06:14.153→00:06:15.864

[metal banging] Yuck.

#19000:06:15.864→00:06:18.250

[metal banging] God, that's a lot of meat there.

#19100:06:18.250→00:06:20.270

[metal banging] I wonder how much these things can hold.

#19200:06:20.270→00:06:22.333

[metal banging] Like, if I could a herd a cow in here,

#19300:06:22.333→00:06:24.523

[moaning] would it be able to lift it all up and eat it?

#19400:06:24.523→00:06:25.779

[metal banging] It's worth finding out.

#19500:06:25.779→00:06:26.997

[moaning]

#19600:06:26.997→00:06:28.832

[metal banging] Are you the one making all that noise?

#19700:06:28.832→00:06:31.675

[scientist screams] MONKEY ON A STICK!

#19800:06:31.675→00:06:33.978

WE'RE GETTING FINGERED BY GODZILLA!

#19900:06:33.978→00:06:34.887

SCIENTIST: NO! NO!

#20000:06:34.887→00:06:36.361

SCIENTIST: GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! FUCK!

#20100:06:36.361→00:06:37.667

[scientist screams] Nnnnghh...

#20200:06:37.667→00:06:38.442

[moaning]

#20300:06:38.442→00:06:41.738

Okay, I was waiting for an opportunity to use this.

#20400:06:41.738→00:06:44.142

And here it is. It's obvious.

#20500:06:44.142→00:06:47.621

A HANDFUL OF SHRAPNEL MAKES THE MEDICINE GO DOWN!

#20600:06:47.621→00:06:49.558

[explosion, tentacles moan]

#20700:06:49.558→00:06:51.974

[tentacles moan] That'll teach you from making so much noise.

#20800:06:51.974→00:06:54.204

You're lucky I don't call the cops,

#20900:06:54.204→00:06:57.247

banging around like you're more important than me.

#21000:06:57.247→00:06:58.963

What's this? "Test Fire"?

#21100:06:58.963→00:06:59.933

Yes!

#21200:06:59.933→00:07:00.675

[panel buzzes]

#21300:07:00.675→00:07:01.821

[tentacles moans] Damn...!

#21400:07:01.821→00:07:02.703

[tentacles moans] I should get out here,

#21500:07:02.703→00:07:05.121

[tentacles moans] I really wasn't ready for this.

#21600:07:05.121→00:07:06.172

[tentacles moans] I was expecting some

#21700:07:06.172→00:07:08.245

[tentacles moans] shitty drummer practicing, or

#21800:07:08.245→00:07:10.599

[tentacles moans] maybe some scientist into indie music

#21900:07:10.599→00:07:13.216

[tentacles moans] playing some weird-ass whale song remix,

#22000:07:13.216→00:07:14.841

[metal banging] but not this.

#22100:07:14.841→00:07:16.973

[metal banging] This is even worse.

#22200:07:16.973→00:07:18.797

[metal banging] That's not a rope.

#22300:07:18.797→00:07:20.667

[metal banging] You can't fool me.

#22400:07:20.667→00:07:23.645

[metal banging]

#22500:07:23.645→00:07:26.267

[metal banging] Agh, God! Jesus...

#22600:07:26.267→00:07:28.019

[metal banging] It's all over me.

#22700:07:28.019→00:07:29.410

[metal banging] That's right, the old layer

#22800:07:29.410→00:07:30.800

[metal banging] was starting to dry,

#22900:07:30.800→00:07:33.609

[metal banging] better baste a new layer of blood on me.

#23000:07:33.609→00:07:34.697

[tentacles moan] It's important to I maintain

#23100:07:34.697→00:07:37.167

[tentacles moan] a fresh coat of blood on me at all times.

#23200:07:37.167→00:07:38.528

[tentacles moan] Helps my sheen.

#23300:07:38.528→00:07:41.232

[tentacles moan] GUARD: Be quiet! This thing hears us.

#23400:07:41.232→00:07:42.987

[tentacles moan] I'll say anything damned thing I want.

#23500:07:42.987→00:07:44.166

[tentacles moan]

#23600:07:44.166→00:07:46.006

[tentacles moan] Whoa.

#23700:07:46.006→00:07:47.818

[tentacles moan] Don't light a match.

#23800:07:47.818→00:07:48.482

[tentacles moan] GUARD: HEY!

#23900:07:48.482→00:07:48.791

[tentacles moan] Hey.

#24000:07:48.791→00:07:50.011

[tentacles moan] GUARD: HEY, OVER HERE!

#24100:07:50.011→00:07:50.589

[tentacles moan] I'm behind you.

#24200:07:50.589→00:07:52.569

[tentacles moan] GUARD: EAT LEAD, YOU OUTER SPACE OCTOP--!

#24300:07:52.569→00:07:54.283

[metal banging] OH! Shit...!

#24400:07:54.283→00:07:55.405

[metal banging]

#24500:07:55.405→00:07:56.133

[metal banging] I'll just...

#24600:07:56.133→00:07:57.790

[metal banging]

#24700:07:57.790→00:07:59.920

[metal banging] Yeah, I'd better chill here for a minute.

#24800:07:59.920→00:08:00.988

[metal banging]

#24900:08:00.988→00:08:03.570

[tentacles moan]

#25000:08:03.570→00:08:05.194

[tentacles moan] I'm going to need some earplugs.

#25100:08:05.194→00:08:10.400

[tentacles moan]